Christmas is a great time of year; festive, fun and full of spirit. But that combination can be rife for family tensions, falling into old habits and feeling the pressure to have impressive answers when you get asked 'how is business going' by your well meaning Uncle.

 

So I wanted to offer you the Christmas Protocol.

 

Yes I'm whipping this up quickly - a bit like the Christmas Nutella Tree I plan to make later. So I'm going to keep this practical, simple and quick.

 

I hope this helps you over the next couple of days if you need it.

 

 

 

Yup, it's tempting AF to skip the morning routine when there are presents to open and the entire Harry Potter Series to watch.

 

But TRUST me, if you have been on a journey of self discovery, inner awareness and spiritual connection then THIS is when those practices will ground you the most.

 

Whether you use it as prevention or cure, it will be a safe space and sanctuary of reconnection to yourself, keep you grounded and focused on what matters. Even if you have to cut down and choose ONE thing, make the time.

 

Also, don't be afraid to take the time you need. Just because you're with family, you are not the 7 year old who needs permission to go play anymore. If you need space, take it.

 

 

 

It's only when you speak to non-coachey people that you realise just how 'niche' coaching already is. The truth is, not everyone wants to change their life for the better, despite their complaints, frustrations and grievances.

 

So as tempting as it might be to help out your in-law with their career problems when you're sat around the fireplace, ask yourself, is this what a professional would do? Remember, coaching is a professional modality that requires consent and the right environment. If a friend or family member really wants your help, tell them you can absolutely help them, listen, care but actual coaching is best done in the right environment, so feel free to say something like this: 'would you like me to send over my free XXX [your free offer] and if you to talk more in depth we'll arrange a proper time.'. Just as a dentist would say, yeah that sounds like something I can help with so book an appointment for when I'm back on holiday (they would NOT get their magnifying glass out and ask you to open wide would they). 

 

There's nothing wrong with sharing powerful insights or perspectives, having deep and juicy conversations and speaking from what you know (which I can guarantee will be more than most when it comes to mindset) is powerful enough.

 

 

Coaching is a really unique industry. There is no one best strategy and one best way, and that's what makes it so fun and full of opportunity.

 

But explaining to your cousin who just got promoted to Senior Partner that KPI's and SWOT analysis are not the way you plan to grow your coaching business (even if that works in banking), and explaining to your brother in law who runs an ad agency that you're not yet in the business of boosting every post because that's what worked for his client who runs a bakery, may just be energy worth saving for the monopoly game later instead.

 

I'm not saying learning about other industries, perspectives and strategies are a bad thing (in fact do - that's how businesses innovate and you may genuinely get great ideas!) but be mindful of what you absorb and take on.  

 

Not everyone has to get it, so learn and explore, but it doesn't stop you from owning what you know too and being thankful for well-meaning advice even if you never plan to use it.

 

 

Starting a business is AWESOME. So CELEBRATE the fact you are doing something pretty amazing that also does so much good for the people who get coached by you!

 

So what to say if someone asks 'how is business?' and you're not feeling overly confident about it yet?

 

You get to tell them that business is great, and you have big things planned for next year, and you even just invested in your first business coach (okay, cheeky plug there, sorry not sorry!).  No need to elaborate unnecessarily, justify yourself or look for validation.

 

This is YOUR story to tell, so decide ahead of time how you want to share it then stick to it. My podcast - How to answer 'How is business going?' may be worth listening to on the way to the in-laws this year!

 

 

 

 

 

This is a big one. Yes, you're doing the work. Yes, you understand the human brain, nervous system and universe on a far deeper level than most. Yes, you have done and will do profound work to help people.

 

AND you are still human, on your own journey of evolution.

Remember, if ANYONE has the power to grind your gears, even if you've healed til the cows come home, it will be the people who love you most and have known you the longest even if you feel like an entirely new woman since coaching. 

 

So if your dad making a snarky comment gets to you and you feel your blood boil, remember to show yourself huge amounts of compassion and self love. I PROMISE, in time, by staying on the journey, it will roll off you like silk and you'll even learn how to smile and expand into love with their words and behaviors. Until that day comes, remember, Protocol #1 - Look after you.  
 

Christmas is a weird time with a lot of pressure to play happy families and that simply isn't always achievable. 

 

Not everyone cares about the same things as you do, or has the same level of self awareness. We are all doing the best with what we have available to us and so are you.

 

 

 

 

As Murphy's law says anything that can go wrong will (Interstellar fans anyone?) and if this happens at Christmas then your best defense? Presence.

 

Presence is not bringing in baggage from the last decade, last year, or the last hour into each new present moment. Nor is presence anticipating the worst and being so tense that you can't enjoy the present (guilty!). It doesn't matter what happened last Christmas, what matters is that you have the now. You get to decide how to live it.

 

Presence is a skill, but if you can find the strength to focus on each present moment, and be with the people who are with you, and try and do so with a positive light, then you will make it through, even when shit blows up.
 

We never know what tomorrow will bring, but we always have right now.

 

 

It can bring painful awareness of the people who are not with you when they used to be,  and how much times have changed. 

Allow any grief, if it arises, to be there, to remind you of the people you love. It's okay to feel grief in these moments, and to allow it to be part of the day. Grief is truly the love that has nowhere to go. So don't make yourself wrong for grieving. Presence (no 6) and the next few chapters will help though...  

  

 

 

Christmas is abundant with pleasure, don't you think?

 

The sound of Christmas carols, wrapping paper being torn open, the gentle crackle of fire on top of the Christmas pud, perhaps even the classic bicker of your siblings in the background...

 

The deep and tart flavor of mulled wine, the crunch and smoothness of Ferrero Rocher, the    delight of cheese and olive tapenade, the warm wholesome smell of gravy on piping hot freshly carved nut roast. 

 

The twinkle, sparkle and dazzle of Christmas glitter and fairy lights. The softness of your Christmas jumper (or dress), the exquisite abundance of a full banquet at the dinner table. The look of a freshly poured baileys and how the ice jingles in the glass...

 

The feel of Christmas spirit, family - for better or worse, the delight of seeing a loved one open a present, the hope and joy in Christmas song...

 

Lean into pleasure this Christmas, notice what delights you, and allow the abundance to fill you with everything you already have and everything you're creating and desire to receive on Christmas and beyond. This is true abundance even if you don't have much. 

 

Take your time to taste, smell, touch and most of all feel into the abundance of it all.

 

This is one for my Coaches who built success in their career and family through working hard, burning out and being on top of everything, for everyone in every way. 

Here's the thing. People treat the way you teach them to treat you. So if 'treats' feel like a burden, more housework, more work, more people to look after, everyone to care for and you come last again. That's a sign of years, decades of patterns where you, as a young child, probably learned it was easier, safer to be in control, to be a step ahead, to anticipate, to be prepared. And so you did. 

Christmas can bring it all up, because as mentioned above, you tend to be around the people who activate or trigger you most. So this Christmas, watch your patters. Notice when you take the lead. When you anticipate, get ahead or take control. Notice when you can receive, when you can allow others to be, to let it unfold, even if it's not quite how you like it.

Receiving requires you to allow it in, the possibility that it's this, or better. Receiving requires you to recognise it's rarely even about you, but about them being able to give - especially when it comes to presents. 

Receiving also requires your receptivity, and if you lean into pleasure, you're receiving already. So have fun with this. Any place, time or occasion that is rife for activation or triggers, also means, it's actually perfect for growth and abundance. 

 

 

Remember, this Christmas may not be what you wanted, but it will be yours....

 

 

On this note, I wish you the merriest of days.

With love, always
 

Pamella

 

 

ps. Loved this blog? My love language is knowing this supported you. Drop me a DM on Instagram and let me know. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

www.coachingwithpamella.com/THRIVE